Progress and then two steps back......

Life has been crazy since the move. Stephanie, Juli's therapist, warned us the move would affect her in different ways and she couldn't predict how that would be.  Well this is what I am now experiencing. She is having a very hard time handling things once again that she had already overcome. For me this is really hard because I keep thinking "we have already overcome this, why is it happening all over again??"  Answer: in order to learn methods to cope with the move some things in her brain that she has mastered she has to put less effort to and so they end up regressing.

She is not asking to go back home to "our old house" because I was able to go through the process with her of saying goodbye to the old house and explaining that we were moving to a new house. It is really cute as she is still calling this "our new house". She often says to me "we're going to our new house mommy, not our old house?" and I say "yes, that's right, we're going home to our new house. We won't be going to our old house anymore." She asks me this probably 2-3 times a week if not more.  All part of the process for her to understand and accept the move.

Instead she is accepting the new apartment pretty well. This is probably having to do with my being able to bring her here a few times and walk her through the place, as well as take a video of it that I showed her at our old place many times before we made the move.  All advice and tips given to me by Stephanie.

Instead her sleep patterns have been affected and her separation issues. Before the move she was fine with spending time with her babysitter - she actually asked to. As well as with me going out of the house at night. Now, I go out and try and leave her with her babysitter and she cries and screams as if it is the first time I am doing it. And when I try going out at night and leave her with her father she screams and clings to me and tells me "you can't go mommy!!  You have to stay here with me and daddy!!".  It hasn't been this bad since the beginning.

Her sleep pattern is also reverting. We had found a good bedtime routine that involved a few therapeutic exercises as well as normal bedtime events like brushing teeth and choosing which friend to sleep with. Then she would "relax" (going to bed or sleep is too final for her so we call it relaxing) and finally fall into sleep. With therapy we had even improved how long it took her to fall asleep. She wasn't falling asleep as early as I would like, but it was early for her. She was even falling asleep on her own many nights which was an awesome accomplishment.

Well that has mostly gone back many steps since the move..... Being babysat has completely reverted.  So that is very hard to handle when you are used to "bye mommy... see you later!!" and now I get screaming and begging me not to go. We obviously do go, but it still breaks our heart to do it.

Now that school has begun, her sleep is especially important. So I spoke to Stephanie and told her that we really need to work on this and the separation issues again. I am starting to go a bit nuts.  So she is working on a whole bunch of new and stronger techniques to use that will help get Juli better in these areas again. I know it is going to take time. And I'm ok with that. I just need to know that we are doing something more.....

So we are upping her brushing and compression exercises as well as experimenting on adding in various other deep pressure activities (like body crashing or pushing around mommy and daddy) before bed.  The point is a bit to tire her out, but more to help her body get regulated so she can fall asleep and stay asleep.  She NEEDS deep pressure on her body to help her feel normal.

Right now she is up 14-15 hours a day before she can fall asleep. That is with no naps. She usually doesn't nap, but there have been times where she falls asleep in the car. She watches her dvd's in the car so that usually does keep her awake unless we go somewhere in the late afternoon.  Needless to say it makes for some very long days for this Mommy.

I am really hoping we can get the sleep and separation issues under control again soon. With the help of her Occupational therapist we are working towards that and I know we can achieve it as we did once before.  I'm so thankful to have a wonderful therapist who really cares about Juli and who genuinely tries her best to help us and come up with as many solutions for me to try as she can. I wish she wasn't in the private system as it isn't cheap, but she is good and she is really helping Juli.

We now have successful baths because of Stephanie's help and for the first time tonight Juli let me put the toothbrush into her mouth and let me help her brush her teeth. Those types of break through feel awesome!

Now we just have to get the sleeping and babysitting under control again and then focus on the next 1000 issues lol. But we'll get there. I have to have faith :)